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my interviewer despatched me an e mail saying my scars are triggering — Ask a Supervisor


It’s “the place are you now?” month at Ask a Supervisor, and all December I’m operating updates from individuals who had their letters right here answered up to now.

There will likely be extra posts than ordinary this week, so maintain checking again all through the day.

I didn’t count on to have an replace on this, however right here we’re. Glad replace season, everybody!

First, an enormous thanks to each your self and the commenters. I’m a each day reader of your weblog, so I figured the recommendation could be that that is annoying, however in the end not my downside.

My interview with Marcia was my first in-person interview, however I’d two prior cellphone interviews with somebody in HR, after which a second interview with the HR director. Each went very properly, and so I despatched an e mail to the director with Marcia’s e mail hooked up. Briefly, I stated that I had withdrawn my candidacy in no small half on account of my interview with Marcia, and that the e-mail she despatched after the very fact solely confirmed that I had made the correct choice. I additionally stated that I used to be not in search of something particular from them, however that Marcia’s feedback towed the road of discriminating based mostly on a incapacity and faith (thanks for that little tip!) and that I might not need any authorized bother to befall the corporate sooner or later. I once more thanked them for the chance and wished them properly of their search.

Lower than an hour later I used to be on the cellphone with Bob, who stated he oversaw HR and had been forwarded my e mail. He wished to talk to me about what occurred. I recounted the story, and he appeared genuinely appalled. Bob apologized profusely, requested if I’d wish to throw my hat again within the ring for the place. I thanked him however declined, citing that this expertise had soured my views on the corporate. He stated he understood, thanked me for bringing every part to their consideration, and wished me properly. I assumed that may be the tip of it and I wouldn’t have a lot of an replace to ship.

I used to be incorrect. That night I acquired a cellphone name from an unknown quantity. I didn’t reply and in truth forgot about it till later that night after I noticed the icon on my cellphone for a voicemail. It was from Marcia. I listened to it on speakerphone whereas I washed dishes. In line with the voicemail my “baseless threats to sue [COMPANY]” had resulted in her termination. She “couldn’t imagine she had wasted prayers on me” and “was solely attempting to assist.” Marcia made positive to tell me that I used to be “completely unsuited” for the place I had utilized for, and {that a} “heathen sinner like me” didn’t deserve gainful employment. I blocked her (however stored the voicemail) and emailed Bob one last time to inform him of the interplay (not that he may do a lot, however I needed to inform somebody). He thanked me for the extra data, and that was the final I heard from both of them.

A number of different little bits –

The tart I used to be making was for Passover, so the irony in all of this was PALPABLE.

Some individuals requested – it was a blood orange custard tart, and it was scrumptious.

I truly determined to remain at my present job. I’d talked about I used to be solely casually looking out as a result of I wasn’t essentially sad, however I wasn’t pleased both. Properly, I had my yearly assessment and had 1) a few of the duties I disliked faraway from my desk, 2) picked up a considerable mission to handle alone, and three) acquired a ten% elevate, plus a really good bonus. So yay!

I debated placing this half in, however within the spirit of the letter total – there have been a pair commenters who appeared to agree with Marcia, that I ought to cowl these scars endlessly and ever as a result of individuals may “suppose issues.” Your opinion is after all your personal, however I’d encourage you to consider the biases you’ve got right here. Scars are scars, they’re a part of life. Individuals purchase them for all types of causes, in all types of locations. They aren’t actually indicative of something aside from residing life.

Thanks once more to Alison and all of the great commenters!

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