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I despatched my boss an extended, offended electronic mail … however I turned out to be mistaken — Ask a Supervisor

It’s “the place are you now?” month at Ask a Supervisor, and all December I’m working updates from individuals who had their letters right here answered prior to now.

There might be extra posts than common this week, so maintain checking again all through the day.

Bear in mind the letter-writer who despatched their boss an extended, offended electronic mail … however turned out to be mistaken? Right here’s the replace.

Right here is how the scenario resolved itself.

I took the break day to decompress and suppose some extra about what occurred (and naturally, to succeed in out to Alison!). The evening earlier than returning to work, I despatched my boss a follow-up electronic mail in a special thread from the 1000-word tirade which had kickstarted the entire thing. I adopted Alison’s (and different commenters’) recommendation to not use any “I’m sorry, however” statements, or say anything that would sound like attempting to justify the unique electronic mail.

The opening sentence of this new message was to, “Surrender the statements made beforehand, as a result of they have been based mostly on a mistaken and out-of-context interpretation of the dialog that we had on MM/DD/YYYY. I sincerely apologize for leaping the gun and making statements that have been utterly inaccurate and unjustified.”

The following sentence of this electronic mail gave a quick recap of how I had interpreted the unique dialog. However I needed to watch out & keep away from any semblance of attempting to defend my preliminary conduct. So I adopted up with, “Nonetheless it was my accountability to ask for clarification, as a substitute of getting offended and utilizing inflammatory rhetoric in direction of what I THOUGHT was an unfair judgment being handed on me. By failing to take action, I escalated a easy misunderstanding right into a scenario that broken the crew’s morale and productiveness.” The reconciliatory electronic mail ended with some real phrases of appreciation and sincerity, and eventually a promise to behave in another way sooner or later.

We had a face-to-face assembly very first thing within the morning, on the day I returned to the workplace. He was in a surprisingly good temper, and acknowledged that he noticed the follow-up electronic mail. I apologized once more for the unique Indignant E mail, and acknowledged that it was “utterly deranged and made zero sense” for me to react that means, over one thing that would’ve been so simply cleared up. He stated just a few issues concerning the significance of communication and staying calm, and the subsequent 15-20 minutes have been spent speaking about work.

On the time of this writing, slightly over 3 months have handed for the reason that unique letter. The venture has gone properly and we haven’t had any extra points in our skilled relationship. Though I can positively sense that our 1:1 conferences have began to have slightly more-than-before discuss gentle abilities. Issues are positively heading in the right direction, however I’m conscious that I should present long-term enchancment (e.g. a few years with out one other incident) with the intention to totally change the best way that I’m perceived.

Thanks everybody to your time and suggestions!

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